One of the biggest kicks I get from The Sex Experiment is exchanging emails with readers. Some come from the friends I’ve made on the site’s social network, which I affectionately think of as “The Orgy” (infinitely better than “Facebook”, if you ask me), and others come from readers who simply email me directly. Sometimes men will write in. Sometimes they’ll even ask for dares, but generally we’ll share experiences or exchange ideas on specific erotic situations. More often it’s women who write, and they’re more likely to ask for a dare. I tend to keep the dares fairly modest, but most of these women I never hear from again (although some wonderfully sexy ones prove to be exceptionally adventurous). I understand: if I were on the other end of some of these emails, I don’t know if I would be anywhere near as brave as others have been. But no matter how daring, no matter how much contact I have with the reader, I’m consistently amazed by the intelligence of the emails I receive. They’re thoughtful and extraordinarily well written. Scientific conclusion: sex makes people smarter. And I’m not sure I’m kidding. Somebody needs to do a study. Volunteers?
Long story short, over the summer I began to exchange emails with a woman called Anne. She asked for a dare. And this was my email to her:
Willingness turns me on. In your case, it’s your willingness to take on a dare, but I don’t mean just sex. Willingness to go to a concert by some unknown band, to meet a new person and want to connect, to make the best of an otherwise boring evening. That turns me on. Yes, I’m writing about the nature of willingness to a woman to whom I would really prefer to write pages of filthy propositions, but the dick is, after all, connected to the brain. And now that’s enough of the brain. I’m imagining you splayed out naked on a hotel bed, softly panting with willingness…. I’m imagining a willingness as complete as an orgasm, a willingness that leads you to give over your body to absolutely anything that might happen next….
And here’s what’s happening next. You may have read some of the dares I’ve given to women to write down their naughtiest fantasy and leave it in a public place. So I’m daring you to try a twist on that. If you don’t have a small, cheap notebook, buy one and start carrying it with you. Ideally this experiment will be performed over the course of one day, but you may take several days if you like. Carry your notebook with you, but instead of writing out longer sexual fantasies, I want you to write down your fleeting erotic impulses, then leave them behind.
For example, a handsome, well-built man passes you on the sidewalk. After finding a place to stop, you might write, “My hands on your naked, strong ass, my teeth biting into your chest.” Or whatever erotic image the man inspired. Sitting in the grass in a skirt, you might write, “To take off my panties here, and feel the grass on my pussy.” Think of these as daring erotic tweets (sorry, was that a turn off?). What’s important is that you leave these little messages behind at the spot where you experienced the erotic impulse. Like breadcrumbs tracing the path of your fantasies through the city.
Leave these notes behind as discretely, or indiscretely, as you like. And what I’ll be curious to know is how you live the experience. Not only some of the sexy possibilities that occur to you (and some of the dirty words they inspire!), but also the way your body and your mind respond to the experience. Are you nervous? Surprisingly confident? Do you become more sensitive to the feel of your body, your pussy, your breasts? Do you catch anyone’s eye? Does the experiment lead you into some other unexpected sexual situation? Does it reveal a new fantasy? I’ll be dying to find out.
Happy erotic trails,
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