I continue to be awed by the enterprising women who e-mail me begging for naughty experiments of their own. Yes, a man asks from time to time, but I’m forced to consider the previously counterintuitive possibility that women are the lustier, more creative, and yes, erotically braver sex. My own wife is the perfect example of this confidence, of course. As further evidence I present this recent exchange with a new acquaintance of mine who calls herself Queen Green:

I’ve enjoyed reading your experiments [she wrote] and the responses from your wife.  You both sound adventurous and I hope things are going well for the two of you.

Let me tell you about myself.  I’m always getting stares, compliments and comments.  I am thin, with long legs, large, firm breasts that are perfect for my size, a bright smile, very green eyes and shiny, light brown hair down to my shoulders.  I like dressing a little sexy – a short skirt or low-cut top.

Due to a horrible past relationship, I have problems with sexuality and self confidence.  I want to feel sexy and enjoy it.

I am married, but soon to be separated.  I have fallen in love with another man.

Give me something to do.  Make me feel confident and sexy and beautiful.  I want to drive him crazy.  I want your readers to think about me.

Queen Green

 

I, of course, leapt to my keyboard, pounding at it as if it was another sexual organ. I presented her with the five word sex experiment we saw Alice…dominate a couple of weeks ago:

Wow, my Queen. Could you please just keep describing yourself over and over again until I drift sweetly (or not) off to sleep and dream of you? I realize I’m not unique in this, but “long legs, large, firm breasts” may be my favorite combination of words in the English language. In a short skirt? Mmm. And then I’m a particular sucker for a bright smile.

Sexual confidence is all in the mind, isn’t it? Even without a beautiful body (which you’ve obviously got), too often we don’t risk getting what we need. So risk something, even something small. I’m happy to give you an experiment, but because I don’t know you, maybe we should play a little game that I’m trying with a couple of other women who have written in. Send me five words that excite you, and I’ll construct an experiment around them. I want you to think carefully about the words. I want you to feel them in your crotch. I want you to take each word and look at it carefully, to press each one to a naked part of your flesh until you know they’re just right. Then send them to me, and I’ll fantasize about where they’ve been, and then I’ll let my fantasy transform them into a fantasy for you. Sound good? Good.

In the meantime I’ll be imagining your confident breasts, and your confident legs – most definitely thinking about confident you,

X

 

She wrote back instantly (our poor, sore, satiated keyboards!):

I live in a building downtown, with a pool on the roof.  I was there all day Sunday in a white bikini with pink sequins.  I got a nice tan, but a little burned on my ass.

I am 5’4″ but always wear heels, and people are always surprised how short I am if I’m ever in sandals or flats.  I was a ballerina and a cheerleader (even through college), so I am athletic in a lean, feminine way.  I have retained some of that grace and can move through a space lightly.

My legs are long and skinny, but defined.  I love my legs.  I love wrapping my legs around my lover.

My least favorite part of myself is my ass, but everyone seems to love it.  I’m told it is heart shaped.

My waist is small, 24 inches, my belly button is pierced (I have three other piercings not visible…), and I have slight ab definition.  My breasts are natural, but I have been asked if they’re not, I suppose since I’m so small otherwise.  I wear a 32D bra and take it off as soon as I get home.  Bras are so restrictive.  My breasts are perky and firm, but soft and warm.  I never wear panties unless I’m wearing a dress.  It is for comfort.

I have a long neck and my mother and grandmother used to say that I reminded them of Audrey Hepburn.

I’m quiet.  I’m a listener.  I’m quick and very smart though.

Cock

Fuck

Lick

Pussy

Lust

What will is be Mr. X?

QG

 

My lightning-quick response:

Well Queen, you definitely don’t seem to lack confidence to me. I’ve spent some time imagining your white bikini, and I’ve spent some time imagining those pink sequins, and I can assure you that if I’d been on that roof last weekend, your little heart-shaped ass would not have been burned. I would have had lotion, and I would have found a way.

And then just as I’m getting greedy for more images of your body, for more comments on the restrictiveness of underwear, you come out with five extremely greedy words. Sexy glutton! I get the feeling you’d like to be instantly transported into bed with your lover (and who could blame you), where he would LICK your PUSSY until you begged with LUST for him to FUCK you with his COCK. But then it would all be over in a sentence, wouldn’t it? And that wouldn’t be an experiment. So, my greedy Queen – what will it be, you ask? I want five sentences, not just one. And I’m turning the tables on you. I’ve fondled your words for a bit, but now I’m putting them back in your hands.

Here’s what I want you to do with them: on a day when you’re scheduled to meet your lover in the evening, I want you to text him five sentences, and each sentence must contain one of your five words. Easy, right? Maybe, maybe not. But that’s not all: as much as I love your confident swagger, I’m going to make you pay for it a little bit too. So here are the additional rules of the game:

1) At least an hour must pass between each of your texts.

2) These are the only five texts you are allowed to send to him that day. Make certain you work out any meeting arrangements in advance, because your texts must be wholly focused on your sexy words.

3) Your lover will no doubt respond excitedly. But you may not respond back. You must leave him hanging, and drive him wilder by the hour. If you fear that for whatever reason he will worry about your silence, I will permit you to send him an additional three-word text as often as you need to: “Await further instructions.” These are the only additional words you may send, and ideally you won’t have to.

4) Then, when you fuck your lover that night, I want you to talk as dirty as you dare. If you’re nervous about this, repeating your five sentences aloud in the heat of the moment could be a good start.

5) Finally, I want you to write back and describe the results of the experiment. Tell me about the evening and the sex. Tell me how you felt all day, and if you sense that the day has altered your lover’s perception of you in any way. No matter what he sees in you, I’m sure it’s going to drive him wild.

Agreed, my Queen? You asked for it…and if you pull this off, I promise that by the end he’ll be begging for it.

Your devoted subject,

X

 

And finally, brave woman that she is, a remarkable example of the unslaked thirst of her admirable sex, she leaves us panting with this, and I know we’ll hear more soon:

Mr. X,

My subject?  Well, I am mostly a benevolent ruler.

This task seems so simple, but for me, it won’t be.  You see, my lover and I talk non-stop throughout the day, whether it is texting, IM or calling one another.  So, only sending these five sexy sentences without more will be challenging, but I did ask for it.

Of course, I will make a full report afterwards.

QG

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