The New Year Experiment

Dark lips ready for a new years kissDear Dreamy One,

I hope you’re as sexy as ever, wherever you are. I have no idea when you’ll be back in town, but I do hope it’s soon. Somehow it’s more difficult to imagine you being sexy in unknown places, although I have no doubt you are.

So I have no clue whether you’ll be around for New Years, but even if you’re not, I’d like to be invited to the party. What I mean is this: there’s only one night of the year when you can kiss whoever’s next to you. So dance to a place you like at 11:59 and propose to make a stranger’s New Year.

Stranger. I hope you didn’t skim over that word, but let’s define it just in case. A stranger is not your husband (I’m quoting directly from Webster’s here). A stranger (for our purposes) might be someone you’re acquainted with, but must be someone you’ve never kissed before (quoting again from Webster’s).

So how the hell are you going to pull off a New Year’s kiss? I have no idea. Not my department, really. I just write the e-mails. Kisses are entirely up to you.

So I’ll leave you to plot the last minute of 2011, and I wish you an erotic 2012 starting from the very first instant.


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5 thoughts on “The New Year Experiment”

  1. It is such a simple thing and honestly I know a number of people who can (and do) pull exactly these types of “lost in the moment” kisses all the time with people other than their partner. I have seen it done lots of places even the most uptight and proper environments, basically whenever or whenever there is something to celebrate. Sure, everyone notices and more than a few eyebrows are temporarily raised, but why is a kiss between adults (even a deeply passionate one) such a big deal? I don’t really know the answer to that last question other than to say that it is usually a HUGE fucking deal for most partners even if all other witnesses quickly recognize it for what it is/was (euphoric enthusiasm).

    The whole thing reminds me of the “Vault” routine in gymnastics – all eyes turn towards the gymnast as she rocks back to start her run, the tension builds rapidly and everyone holds their breath as she careens down the carpet fully committed (all-or-nothing) to execute the intended maneuver, everyone reacts in unison to the outcome either exploding in a rush of exhilaration when they nail the routine and stick the landing, or collectively looking away as it all goes horribly wrong.

    Maybe I am blessed to have seen this done well (i.e. without shards of glass flying off of anyones head), but it has always made me so incredibly jealous (and I am anything but a jealous person)! First, I get jealous by this guy’s ability (and truthfully it usually is a guy who makes the move) to grab everyones attention so completely – he both threw down the gauntlet and showed everyone in the room how to take charge of a situation and then he was able to create massively awkward tension by doing something monumentally inappropriate (did he just slip her tongue?). Second, I get jealous of the impeccable acting skills required in to stick the “dismount” (style and panache really do set the tone here) with the guy adopting an “I’m the King of the World” or “She needed that” bravado which plays perfectly into the woman’s “I’m so loving this moment – what just happened?!?” confusion/obliviousness. OK…before anyone crucifies me for such potentially gender negative characterizations – I have actually seen just such reaction by a couple of good friends in their 40’s who had a wildly inappropriate moment at a social club function with lots of their closest friends and colleagues looking on – PLUS read my own derivative experiment!. [BTW, it didn’t go over well with their significant others, but because of the perfect acting job (and without going into details it turned out to most definitely be acting) everyone who witnessed it was 100% convinced that it was harmless exuberance]. Lastly, I get incredibly jealous that they shared just the kind of exhilarating intimate moment that we all need much much more of in our lives – the kind of giddy, moment of clarity “happening”, that can send a spark through your groin not only in bed that night but potentially for years to come.

    As simple, and in all likelihood “innocent”, as this challenge seems relative to some of your other experiments, it may be my favorite yet (and almost impossible not to be hot, hot, hot!). I will no doubt be unbelievably jealous, but the fact that her act will be witnessed by you (I have a strong suspicion your confident, sexy wife won’t be sneaking off to execute the deed behind your back), and the opportunity it creates for her to make a bold statement (just how bold remains to be seen) while at the same time providing an opening for a dialog between you both that you have been seeking for so long… I am truly excited.

    I am wondering if you shouldn’t change your own usual temperment of always passively approving or accepting your wife’s “innate” sexuality. Have you considered flying into a drama filled jealous rage? Out of character to be sure, but do I really have to spell out the interesting positions which you might find available if you were able to lay it all out on the bed as a result of this outburst (pun fully intended)?

    All the best…can’t wait to see the response.

    1. I keep repeating this, but it’s such a pleasure to have such a thoughtful reader around, James, and you’re becoming a great addition to these experiments.

      And yes, I know many wives who’d rather their husbands have sex with a prostitute than kiss a friend. I guess that culturally a kiss is romantic and sex is “just sex”. Like you, I was always dubious of that distinction, but it’s interesting to play with.

      And a jealous scene? Somehow the “jealous” part of my nervous system is short circuited. Maybe when I was a teenager it was there, but now I just don’t see the point. If she wants to be with you, she’s going to be with you, and if she doesn’t want to be with you, she’s not going to be with you. There’s nothing to be done about that, and there’s no point in attempting to control someone you love. In the history of the universe, it has never worked out to both parties’ satisfaction.

  2. Ei agree 100%. I absolutely don’t feel jealousy towards my wife’s own joy,pleasure and satisfaction whatever firm that takes. My “jealousy” would stem solely from the fact thy I didn’t do it!

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